10 Terrible Uses for Hip Flasks

by X FLASKS November 14, 2016

Hip flasks are a classy and timeless way to store whiskey, gin and other spirits. But what if you didn’t use it to store alcohol? Can you use a hip flask for anything?

We at X FLASKS put a board up for a week, inviting suggestions for the worst uses for one of our flasks. This list is our top ten picks from the dark twisted minds of our customers. Please don’t actually try any of these with our hip flasks, they deserve far more respect than this!

Soup

Whilst some flasks, namely vacuum flasks, can be used for this purpose, we don’t recommend keeping boiling hot broth in a metal container next to your chest. Unless you’re into that, of course.

These guys have it right

Shampoo/Shower gel

You know how the thought process goes. You’re packing for your holiday and don’t want to take 3 litres of Head and Shoulders. If only you could decant it into a smaller container... As much as we’d love you to buy as many hip flasks as you want, storing shampoo in one is not the way to go. Luckily for you most shampoos and gels are available in travel sizes, so no more carrying your hip flask into the shower with you.

You may just be able to board a plane with this.

Porridge

For those trying to enter a “How Scottish can you be?” contest, this is acceptable. For everyone else, please consider eating breakfast like a normal person.

Willie is angry because you put oats in your flask.

Fuel

Forget F1 pit stops – the quickest way to refuel is to not stop at all and keep going whilst getting a friend in the back seat to top up your tank! Don’t worry about the fire hazard, just make sure you use a funnel!

Our intern trying it out

Brake fluid/Oil

In the same theme as the previous one, avoid paying through the nose at a garage for brake fluid or oil top ups and simply carry around a bit of both in a flask inside your glovebox.

Give it a rub. Maybe there's a genie inside. Doubt it, though.

Shoe Polish.

We’ve all been there- you’re at a wedding and you notice your shoes are a little scruffy and you didn’t have time to polish them before you left the house because you were too busy convincing your mate that cold feet is perfectly normal and he’s doing the right thing and buying a one-way ticket to Venezuela isn’t going to accomplish anything, even if they do have excellent healthcare and… where was I going with this… oh yeah, shoe polish. Whilst we here at X FLASKS appreciate always looking your best and that a man’s shoes should be polished to perfection, the polish will ruin the insides of your flask and mean the flask will be useful for little else.

Brush not included

Baby Feeding

OK- this one’s not too bad if it’s milk in there, but will certainly get you some strange looks and possibly a visit from CPS. Needless to say you won’t be invited to many more christenings if you pull this on someone else’s child.

We think it'd be cooler if she used a hip flask. But maybe that's just us.

Emergency toilet stop

Whoever suggested this is evil. Possibly inspired by this guy:

This is a real product. No, really. (click the pic to see the commercial)

Frozen Drinks

Do you remember how hot it was in summer at school? Everyone froze their water bottles in the morning allowing them to slowly defrost during the day, leaving their drinks ice cold and refreshing? The only problem is it would leave puddles of condensation on the tables. Why not take that to the next level? Carrying a frozen hip flask around with you all day will not only provide you with a supply of soothing ice-cold water (or liquid of your choice) but also get your jacket nice and wet. For an added bonus, you get the chest equivalent of brain-freeze!